


KuroTwilight (now with more sparkles/oocness)

by gaily-daily (passionateartist)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Crack, Don't say I didn't warn you, Drabble, Fourth Wall, M/M, Twilight Parody, Vampire!Sebastian, Vampires, fuck the fourth wall, im super cereal about this, no srsly this is pure crack, this is so stupid im not even kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passionateartist/pseuds/gaily-daily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of three things he was absolutely positive. First, the boy was very young. Definitely underage. Second, there was a part of himself that thirsted for his delectable, tender flesh. Third, the kid was unconditionally and positively insane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	KuroTwilight (now with more sparkles/oocness)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I wrote this little shindig a LONG time ago and completely forgot that I even wrote it. I was going through my old stuff today and found it and thought 'why the hell not?' 
> 
> I've never really posted my stuff before but since this is so short I thought I'd give it a go! So enjoy this cracky little drabble!

“You’re impossibly fast, you’re cold to the touch, and you never seem to eat anything. You’re...”

“Say it.” Sebastian whispered as his lips twisted into a grin.

“A vampire!”

Sebastian blinked in confusion. “What? No, I’m a demon.”

“You’ve come to suck my BLOOD!” Ciel screamed, his horror strangely carrying a squeal of excitement.

“Er...no. Actually, I wanted to make a deal with you.” He said cautiously.

“Oh!” Ciel’s hands came up and slapped against his boyish cheeks in a joyous cry. “You wish to ravish me? Yes!?

“What gave you the idea I’m a pedophile?? I’m a century old demon and you’re not even in high school!”

Ciel tilted his head in confusion.

“So you didn’t lurk outside my school everyday with the intention of finding your next meal?”

“…well yes, but not like—“

“YAY! Then it’s settled! And after you have your way with me we’ll get married and I’ll have your child!”

Sebastian was starting to get a little scared. There was something severely wrong with this human.

“I don’t think that’s physically possible…”

“And we’ll name her Johnbertington!”

“Her?! And what kind of name is that?” He really shouldn’t be egging this kid on.

“Well I can’t decide between John, Hubert, and Washington. So I just rolled them all together! Pretty neat huh?” His crazed smile seemed a bit too wide.

“I thought you wanted a girl? Those are all boy names.”

“This is the 21st century you silly goose! Girls can have boy names if they want.”

This was the final straw. This boy was nuts and he probably didn’t even taste good. Sebastian turned heel and left as swift as he could.

A magical portal suddenly opened up and Sebastian threw himself into it and…

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sebastian seethed, looming over the author’s shoulder as she typed. 

She blinked.

“Er…relieving boredom and making fun of an awful book series at the same time?”

“Well then leave me out of it!” he said stomping off.

She watched him go and turned back to her laptop.

“That’s it.” She mumbled “I’m putting you in the Hunger Games.”


End file.
